Feeling Guilty About Spanking

As a kid, I think I was never spanked. Otherwise, I would remember.
Spanking leaves an indelible mark in the mind of child. To many, that mark can fester into adulthood. One of my daughter said, in one of those family get- togethers' free-flowing edectic conversation, i was the only one spanked among my brothers. Although he said it nonchalanty, with a small smile on his face, I could feel the hidden carried in her chest all those years!
"You were spanked?!" i cried, looking at this nice young child who was my pried and joy. I could not remember. "Yes, by you, and also by papa."

I looked at my husband. he shrugged his shoulder, which was a cross between I don't remember or what does it matter, and left it at that.
But I panicked, to put it mildly. Not so much by the spanking, but by the way my daughter grew up with that thought for why would she even mention it many years later? I ached to pusue the issue but afraid of making it worse. Quite comfortably, that spanking done in love will make a child remember important lessons in life.Look at how well you turned out to be. You are loved, you are blessed. As a workoing mom in all of my children's growing up years, guilt weighed me down. i was wary of not playing mt role well. And so when i hear words that point to those years, my guilt is magnified many times over.

Researching on spankiong as a tool for discipline, I have learned that indeed the Good Book espouses it: Proverbs 23:13-14, "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, you will save his soul from Sheol."

Had I know what I know today, i would have been a better spanker, or non-spanker. here are five tips I culled from my reading:
1. Give advance warning. Explain to your child where he/she did wrong. let him know that the next time he does it, he/she will be spanked. It's like issuing a memo to in the workplace first, second, and third warning before the punishment comes.
2. Don't do it anger. When you see red, escape to a corner and try to calm down before you spank. Otherwise, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
3. Stick to your word. Of you say you will spank the next time your child repeats his misbehavior, do so.
4. Keep to the buttocks. They are fleshy and don't maintain permanent damage.
5. reassure. a few hours after, or when the time seems right, explain to your child why he/she spanked and reassure him/her that it was his misdeed you hate, not him/her.

Easier said than dine? Whoever said motherhood is easy. But trying really hard, always leads to a happy ending; and takes away unwanted guilt.